Pictures from Cherie

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Aubry the little fibber

I have my old camera for sale on Craigslist.  

A pleasant girl called me on Sunday to say that she wanted it and was very very excited blah blah blah so we made plans to meet on Monday night to make the exchange.  Monday afternoon i sent her a text message to confirm that we were in fact going to meet that evening as planned.  At 10 minutes before the agreed upon meeting time she called and told me that she had been locked out of her apartment and that she wasn't going to be able to meet me.  She prefaced by saying "I know this is going to sound unbelievable but blah blah blah" so we agreed to meet when her schedule next allowed us to on Wednesday.  

So on Wednesday morning I sent her a text asking her to confirm our meeting.  Nothing... So I followed up in the afternoon with a "If don't want the camera or are unable to make it please just tell me now so that I can make dinner plans."  Long after the agreed upon time I texted her again and said simply "you are lame"  to which I got this reply- 
"I'm sorry! I didn't see your texts until five thirty, and by then I didn't want to bother you for fear of upsetting you/sketchy craigslist interaction. Sorry for any upset I caused and I hope you have a lovely thanksgiving!"  to which I replied "Like I said you are lame" the answer back to that was "ok, well sorry again! Hope you don't let my lameness ruin your day too much. Have a great holiday."

This has bothered me since I read it.  
This girl was more concerned about upsetting me then telling me the truth.  All of these machinations and stories and fibs to prevent me from getting upset.... How about the truth?  I gave her the opportunity to tell the truth, even gave her an easy way out to tell that truth with just a single word, over text, not even voice to ear or in person.
  
Have we all forgotten the power of honesty?  The truth has many bumper stickers that profess it's power, how is it that this person has not realized this?  I feel justified in calling her lame because of the dictionary definition "unconvincingly feeble".  Would it have not been more just to both of us if she had professed the truth? 

This girl is old enough to go to university.  But is she mature in any way?  I ponder the meaning of the word mature often and rail on many of the current definitions that are spouted by those around me for they tend to tie maturity to ownership, parenthood, career, dress.... I instead believe that real maturity is about accountability and being honest is an integral part of that.  Honesty sometimes means saying things that may upset other people.  We can be kind with our honesty but in the end it is the content that matters most, not the delivery. 

We have become so caught up in making sure everyone likes us that in some cases we have chosen to abandon the truth.  This western society of "political correctness" has created an environment in which children learn to make people happy over everything else (this I believe is rooted in the tendencies some have to withdraw their love when upset creating a punishment of deeply unfair proportion).  We can even struggle in our adult relationships with endless trying to create happiness for another person.   

Give it up.  Say no, say I don't agree, I don't want, I've changed my mind... worry about your own damned happiness and I'll worry about mine... otherwise you can take my happy away.

falling into sunday

it is one of those mornings.
here we are first day of fall
round here everything is confused.  the fields that have absorbed the water are bright spring green. vines on fences bolted 10 feet when they should be preparing for slumber...
the calendar tells me it is sunday but I already know that.
I know because the traffic is light on the road outside and the city buzz is quiet. perhaps it is simply the years of conditioning in this society that has me feeling that sunday is still the day of rest. 
all the windows are closed because, as the moon just told us, it is harvest time and the nights and mornings are cool.  the morning sunlight beams down, baking the ground, rousing a whole new hatch of insects instinctively knowing if they exit that ray a cold atrophication awaits.  The crocus misinterprets and springs back out of bulb hibernation to receive the sun. i hesitate to remind myself this is the desert...
the sun tracks closer to the horizon pushing light into hanging crystals flooding my room with kaleidoscopes of colour.  cardigans now my constant companions.  
i realize that everyday is sunday for me now, taking time to make breakfast, read the news, meditate, exercise, catch up with friends and fam... these are daily tasks for i have given up the putting off.  I don't save up my fun or relaxation or work or chores or desires.  i strive for daily balance- an idealistic view i know, but one that erases the fear of never getting the chance or time to do/see/hear/love.  
it is one of those mornings to be grateful

trust

what inspires trust?  does saying that your product or service is used by people in extreme versions of your condition induce consumer trust? does stating your product or service is used by people in authoritative roles invoke trust? does surmising that your product or service is the best in the arena you sell in illicit trust? what inspires trust?  

my distillations reveal being an honest and empathetic human inspires trust. 

i try to communicate with the world in this fashion.  perhaps it is this interpretation of trust that makes me distrust others so quickly.  for i do not meet many honest people. i mean the kind of honesty that might hurt from time to time. 

i have approached marketing of a company in this fashion and have taken those lumps, those perceived inadequacies and turned them out for the world to see.   

i have never slept better

Pictures from Cherie

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wondering the world

was just perusing some pinterest stuff an old friend had facebooked (now that is a blog just by itself...) and was met with a list of 100 wonders of this world capped with a "how many will you see before you die". I took a look, I do travel some, and i will die some day.  about half way through I decided this list was silly, it is someone else's list.  I don't think I really have a list... an active volcano and lava are probably the only things I really long to see.  But then I think a flower is far more wondrous than a building, no matter how large.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate architecture very much, I am just saying a man built the thing but time made the flower.  Do you ever play the de-evolution game?  What did this look like 100, 1000, 10 000 years ago?  we see but a snippet during our short time here and yet we still observe change, for stresses abound,  Some the hand of man, some the nature of things.  i digress.  
i observe time in nature, the soft boundaries of the living.  I do not feel that with the inanimate. I only see decay marking time in man made things.   This quality of time as presented in the living is not about vibration, all things vibrate, it is about the co-mingling of energy.  I believe it is what is responsible for the sense of well being most everyone feels after spending time observing nature.  A recognition that the world is alive and we all mark evolution together. A grand oneness. who wouldn't feel better after being reminded of that?   

Fathers Day

i choose the font trebuchet today.  i do so because without my father i wouldn't have the foggiest clue what a trebuchet is or how it worked.  the stories my family friends recall so readily regarding my curiosity are first met with that long puff of exhaustion then a smile by my dad. apparently i asked about everything and now that I see the same qualities in myself, it is his own damned fault!  my dad is a teacher, through and through.  to create such an awareness and appreciation for the world around me by demonstrating and explaining the interconnected-ness of all things fed my desire to know why.  for when you are young it is difficult to realize that the why in many things is 'because a person wanted it that way'.  when i examined the systems and workings of nature they all seemed logical to me, even the interplay and stresses upon the systems that humans created made sense.  but the why the humans acted that way never did.  as i grew older i became an advocate for the minimization of these stresses and tried harder to understand why in hopes i could communicate with them to make them understand... today i have many miles and interactions under my belt and i see the wisdom my father tried to share so many years ago- the inevitability that all of that reasoning distills down to "because it is".  that realization has not dulled my sense of curiosity for between here and there is a world of adventure and learning.  i still try to understand why when it comes to humans but now it is with compassion and empathy rather than the anger and outrage of youth.  this is true of my father as well for his is human, not superman.  I now recognize how tired he must have been on friday nights after a long week of travelling, but he still made family chinese food cooking night fun.  every time i use a sharp knife i hear his guidance... i am very thankful that he included me in his weekend warrior adventures even though he probably just wanted some alone/man time. every time i am in the forest i hear his voice in my ear telling me look over there and then he squats behind me and i look down the barrel of his pointing arm to the target and recite to myself my fathers mnemonic.  I am always grateful for these gifts and so very proud to be Bill Turbitt's daughter.  

hug you soon xo

present

after a beautiful and extra long hike this past sunday i cannot shake how much i miss my dad.  it has been a while since he and i took a hike together.  i have fond memories of exploring the wilds (the bush we sudburians call it) around my house, camping and fishing spots with my dad for he is an observer.  after you spend a while in the bush you begin to realize that everything has a shape and a sound.  you can see a silhouette and know there is a partridge over there and listen to hear a beaver slap it's tail in warning.  you can know the rain is coming when the silver maple turns over her green leaves to shine silver. you can count between lightening strikes and thunder to estimate how far the storm is away. you can tell a red and white pine from each other by their structure but also from the smell of their sap.  a blue jay sounds very different than a cardinal and you can eat this but not that.  these observations epitomize the concept of 'being present' to me.  To notice what time the sun set or remark upon which flowers are in bloom is to be present in this time and space, for you are one with everything.  This everything asks nothing of you it is always there, waiting to be observed, to be remembered.

Now it is I who points out everything i observe in the world around me.  I try to take the time my father did with me to share the gift of being present.  No one ever had to teach me to meditate.  If you sit in a meadow or on a riverbank and look around your mind is free to push away concerns and be instead be flooded with the simple truth that you are present here and now, with the birds and the bees, the grass and the trees.  I am not saying it doesn't take practice, for life is just that- a practice, I am saying that observation can require a little time so grant yourself permission to slow down and be un-busy for a moment or two.  

a blank page

it is with much pleasure that i stare at this blank page.  I do it both virtual and AFK, just stare at the freshness, at the emptiness of the page.... i tend to write for my work.  I have been a technical writer since the first criticism popped out of my mouth when i was a youngin' reading the instruction set for <fill with anything from BBQ to surround sound> out loud to my dad.  i have become more aware than most that certain words do not translate well into other languages, or have secondary meanings that dilute or confuse the message.  just as my life has a soundtrack it also has its screenplay.  i am pleased to have little collections of observations link themselves together in my brain to create memories, ones that i attempt to express and share on occasion.  to try and find just the right word to be as succinct as possible is my life's challenge.  marketing and advertising years have installed that task in my quiver.  when you have but 80 characters to entice or 2x3" to educate and persuade you can become very troubled over a comma and actually find uses for a semi-colon.   

I sat down today to write about a thousand things in my head but instead found the blank page to be soothing, the recognition of freedom writing provides.  take whatever is in your head and write it out, take the time to actually form the arguments or thoughts then examine them critically.    when you write it down it moves from the ephemeral to the enduring, even here in the electronic world.  there are those who believe that the only clear way to manifest an intention is to write it out and read it aloud.  i encourage you to give life to your thoughts and to share them.

springing

Oh man spring comes late at 9000 feet.... Last weekend we drove down to Boulder to help a friend out and it was green, trees had leaves, it was 28C.  We had the snow tires changed out and grabbed all of the camping gear from storage.  On our way back up we drove in some of the worst conditions I have EVER encountered, and hey, I am from Canada.... as the Subaru acted as an icebreaker we giggled that we must look like we got off a plane from a warm destination, for our shorts and sandals were not at all appropriate dress for the weather.  
But spring it IS here in the Rocky Mountains.  Snow is gone from all but the full day of shade spots swelling the creek to a full-on river complete with mosquitoes   The fly fishers are clogging up the Blue River and on a rest from a bike ride to the dam the other day i witnessed their successes.    
Why did Lightfoot make pussy willows so damned melancholy with all of those flat chords?  Yesterday they looked very happy with their yellow halos against a strong sun shine.  Buds are out but no leaves.  
The ungulates are active around the neighbourhood and below are a couple of shots I took in a hurry outside the kitchen window.  It pleases me to wash dishes and see them.  It also reminds me to exercise a little more caution when hiking. 
But the best thing about spring here in Silverthorne are the hummingbirds.  Squealing kamikaze sirens as they race from pine to pine.  One became infatuated with x-mas lights i have around the patio so I got a closer look, not a variety I am familiar with.  The soaring birds are back as well but it is tough to ID them from the ground whilst they twirl on the updrafts far above.
I look forward to wildflower season and a little macro work. 

that couch

caught a bug, was worn down a little and went to a concert, then partied with some friends in Denver all night, watched the sun come up.... caught a bug.  decided to lay down in the evening hours to try and honour my body's request for rest.  as i lay there on the couch looking out over the land of the sandman a familiar feeling rushed in.  there were many days after a full day of learning at school that i would come home and take a nap on my mums couch.  it is my mums couch because it was pink and queen ann style.  the best thing about that couch was it's length, so maybe my father did have something to do with it.  it is one of the few couches i have met that i can sleep on for i am tall, and so is my dad.  i enjoyed napping on that couch over my bed mostly because the living room was very close to the kitchen.  it was incredibly comforting to hear the rest of my family in the kitchen, to mutter contributions to conversations, to feel them come in and check on me, all to soon to poke and prod if i managed to make the journey to sleep.   it was a time to feel safe, to let go of all of the pressures of the outside world, to rest.  
Now as i lay there, my ears strained to hear that comfort.  These days it is I cooking the meals, making conversation with the cat, telling the stove timers beeping to hold on a second...   I lay there missing my mum and that couch.  I hoped for a moment that everyone gets a memory or two like that, memories of a safe haven and a mother's love.  

Warrior

The weather was crazy, it was warm but wind was gusty and blowing.  I was at Stacey’s house for Ann’s bachelorette party.  Ann and I were out on the deck soaking up the storms energy when she began to stretch a little.  It seemed that the stretches she was doing were predetermined, like poses.  She moved between postures, breathing in and out, in such a way that I heard it over the wind.  Whatcha doin?  Well Cher I am a little tight so I thought I would do this warrior series and work it out.  I watched as she moved her body through the poses, her arms getting longer, her legs getting stronger, her posture aligning.  Ann is a beautiful woman but there is something extra-ordinary about getting to watch someone do yoga.  You see all of their stuck energy begin to flow, their face begin to soften and their whole body become one with the fabric of this universe.  She stood up and smiled at me and I was hooked.  I knew that yoga was something I wanted in my life.  I have repeated these same poses in many countries over many years and they have always brought me back to my center. 

I often preach that exercise takes no time at all and I will reemphasize that again here.  The warrior series is a set of standing postures, no mat, no class, no excuses…

The weather is crazy, it is warm but has managed to snow a foot overnight.  This morning I am awakening my warrior to ride the mountain side.

Church

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Sunday morning walk. didn't even get any breakfast in me.  was cleaning up the kitchen from a saturday of cooking and looked outside to see a flock of blackbirds in the aspen holding the bird feeder.  Excited i got my camera and tried to get some shots with the patio door open but it spooked them and it was still chilly.  Downstairs to the bedroom for a better view of the feeder, oops gotta clean these windows.  I got dressed and headed out only to find the feeder on the ground.  After hanging it again I set off for the trailhead up the hill.  what a beautiful morning. the sun is intense and the road was steaming off it's snow.  I made first tracks on the trail and only went so far since the snow camouflaged expanding creek paths. and here i am, back with a smile on my face, my heart full and birds back at the feeder.  Enjoy these pics. 

Of course all of the sunflower seeds are at the top of the feeder

I am a particle scientist.  Not in the muon, neutrino way but in the everything solid is made up of smaller parts, or particles way, much much larger than a quark.  I studied the shape of individual particles to determine things like flowability (how do you get all the jello mix out of the package) compaction (how do you get a tablet of ibuprophen to stay together) and coverage (how does that black paint look so black).  I used techniques to study these particles individually and in bulk.  It was an early lesson that the whole behaved differently than the sum of the parts.  One of the very first experiments to demonstrate this was entitled “why are the brazil nuts always on top” back in like 1962 I think.    Counter to all of our intuition, the largest pieces rise to the top of the can of mixed nuts.  If I examine this nut, individually it is large, it is dense and it is long.  If I put it on a bed of smaller peanuts I would expect it to sink down into the bed because it has so much mass in comparison.  In fact, the brazil nut will always rise to the top, no matter it’s mass.  It’s shape creates a packing density difference.  These long banana shaped nuts do not stack well, there is room around them for smaller nuts to maneuver.  So all of the small nuts, in their search for lowest energy state, seek to fill in the gaps and move lower in the can.  Add a little vibration and well, you can use this trick to get the biggest pieces of popcorn to the top of the bag. 

Alone, they are just nuts, together they are examples of granular convection.   The best part- we are not exactly sure why this happens. I gave some of the reasoning but there isn’t an agreed upon comprehensive explanation. 

Today I remember my curiosity counselor Dr. Brian Kaye.  He made chaos exciting and opened my mind to accept quantum mechanics.  He was a major influence in the lives of many women, taking them on and encouraging them to get graduate science degrees.  He sought to make the mysteries of science accessible to everyone, writing books on complicated topics in simple language.  He loved language and studied etymology, his books filled with side-bars on word origins.  He strong armed the university into letting all of his ‘harem’ (seriously, that’s what some of the other old farts used to say) attend, participate and lead industry workshops giving us real world experience.  I oft retell the story of leading my first workshop at the Powder & Bulk show and how there were no stairs to the stage.  I, in my pretty skirt suit, had to go around back and climb up on- I was the only woman speaker in the entire conference proceedings.  Dr. Kaye told my parents once that my gift is my ability to explain complicated things in an easy to understand way.   I know he helped me cultivate that gift, one I use every day in every way.  I love to share knowledge, like why we think the sunflower seeds are at the top of the feeder.  

Celebrating Spring Inside Today

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It is hard to believe that we have more snow now than any other day this winter.  The great news is that they re-opened Breck and Vail for this weekend so that is where we will be enjoying this plenty.  my morning glories don't seem to know that it is snowing outside.  They grow about 2 inches per day, it took two hours for the leads to find and lash to the bamboo canes i put in their pots.  the awareness these plants have is amazing.  More so, they take water and create a blossom in one day, grow it and turn it purple in one day then that blossom opens to the world for just one single day, mere hours!  my first blossom of the year lasted 8 hours before turning inward and closing up.  Tomorrow I hope to start the journey all over again...

Patents and Copyrights

here is the punch line

i really think that patents and copyrights are retarding innovation. 

I have worked for various scientific manufacturers, running their testing labs, leading development, planning and executing product testing.  I have defended patented technology both to prospective and doubtful customers, standards boards and experts alike.  i have been very fortunate to work for believers.  people that thought continuous innovation was a good idea.  what they never did was give enough time and thought to research and development.  they held this secret, this innovative thing/part/tech and yet they managed to squander it.  and i don't mean in a fiduciary manner, I mean in a change the world way.  competition, not collaboration is our standard.  to win, to best, to profit. why do we throttle our advancements in the interests of money?  this is not just in one community or vocation, this is EVERYWHERE.  You are not given access to the best because the best will not rise until there is free and open collaboration.  Why is it a crime to talk about what you know? 

otherwise the lawyers just keep getting richer...

life by the seat of my toilet

in my house the toilet seat is just where it is, if you need it up put it up, if you need it down then put it down.  There is no usual or expected position.  the needs of one of us does not supercede the needs of the other.  i had not really given this much thought until I stayed the night at my friend Joel's place.  He has a roommate Zac and sometimes Zac's son stays over.  The toilet seat at their house is always down.  these three have been trained to put the seat down for the ladies... now if you put the lid down because you have dogs or for feng shui reasons that's a little different but if you do it for a woman I have to ask WHY? 

perhaps i am just too unrefined to comprehend what is so egregious about touching the toilet seat or what is so difficult about looking before you sit, ladies?  hell, if you go to ecuador most bowls do not even have a seat, you perch your heiny on the edge of the porcelain and do your business.  but see, i would go anywhere, anytime.... many a fellow traveler has seen my white ass on the side of the road.   

i have been reading a fabulous book "from power to partnership" by Montuori and Conti.  like many of the tomes on my shelf it gets picked up and read in fits and starts.  The book mark inside is the campground map for Brainard Lake and marks a page that begins "... is passionate about the need to develop new archetypes or role models for women and men.  We are constantly bombarded with images that reinforce the dominator society..."  to that I say "no shit sherlock".  but then i have worked hard to practice partnership over power.  for when you aim to control someone else's behaviour you are merely judging that your way is better than theirs.  and what gives you that right? i believe there is only one real wrong in this world and that is judgement.  

so ladies, please stop congratulating yourselves on getting your man and kids to behave as you wish.  in fact, in the mornings i do remark that the toilet seat is a little bit warmer for not having sat on the cold bowl all night. 

The Turtle

i own and drive an Econoline E-250 van.  it used to be a cable van, if you stand just right you can see the shiny "Adelphia" on the side where the company stickers used to be.  it came with a metal divider to separate the two front seats from the rest of the cargo hold.  i toyed with the idea of getting a mobile home but all i saw was miniature crappy specialized mechanical, electrical and plumbing.  i knew i could do better and be more covert and mobile.  the back has a bed built over the wheel well under which is a bin with clothes, a bin with outwear, one cooler for keeping food cold, one cooler for dry food, two water jugs and a tool box. i bought standard van shelving which i configured to hold milk crates. in those crates are kitchen stuff, lantern, books, toiletries and other necessities.  stove, ax, yoga mat, tent occupy the spaces in between.  the van has an inverter to supply AC electric, a kick ass stereo and a lock box to put my laptop and camera inside of.  the only give away that my van is not your standard plumbers/electrician/cable van is the RV vent/fan near the rear over the bed.   I made magnetic curtains for all of the windows and have put up class 1 insulation over the entire cargo hold. 

her name is persephone.  i have seen 45,000 miles of north america through her panoramic windshield.  on a particular trip through the desert on my way to the grand canyon, singing along at full force, it occurred to me that i had everything i needed with me.  i had my home on my back.  i was just like a turtle.  a moment later i stopped at a roadside grouping of native artists selling wares to stretch my legs and see what the tribes in that part of the country considered art and craft.  past the horse hair pottery examples a tray of jewelry lay.  among the eagles and dragonflies a ring of silver topped by a turquoise turtle beckoned.  Of course it fit perfectly, and is the only one i have ever seen.  

i look at the ring on my finger now and it reminds me that whether i am in the van or not, i AM the turtle and my home is on my back, with me at all times.  and just as the turtle cannot separate itself from its shell, neither can i be parted from my connection to all.  

Dude, I just got snow in my sandal

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I have lived in Colorado on and off now for 4 years now and if you can say something besides "wow it is beautiful" it would be "wow is the weather unpredictable".  this is most especially true now i live at 9000 feet.  it was just snowing outside and it is +7C... The sun scorches every surface in just seconds. Well i finally got around to downloading and organizing some pictures I took around town and on a drive that Adam and I took over Loveland Pass.  When you live in the interior of the mountain range, you get around using passes, tunnels, studded tires and alot of 4x4/AWD.  I have not driven the van since I got stuck in the Natural Grocers parking lot.  So as i put the snowshoes away for the season and pull my florida worthy collection of sandals out i share these pics with you.

Ecuador one year later

i think about the land where everything wants to grow and ache for it's abundance.

i remember people who stopped and helped each other because they recognize we are all community.  

i contemplate the peaceful protests and actions of the citizenry against their own government.

i smell the cigarette a group of men would share, never hogging an entire stick for oneself.

i feel the release of tension the nightly swim in the hot springs provided

i hear a dog bark and recall how a pet without an owner behaves.

i watched the transporter movie the other day and thought about it's spanish counterpart being blared over the bus speakers.

i rub my belly and think of the water that looks just fine but will infect you. 

i feel the weight of my backpack and the comfort in knowing all i needed was with me

i listen for the sound of the ocean right outside my window

i watch for pink bananas at the supermarket
i ache for a horse to run

i talk about mining rights and indigenous people 

i would eat a guinea pig in a heart beat

i scratch jungle bug bite scars 

i marvel at how shitty american drivers really are, even with two lanes and lines and signs and everything

i hear children confident and able

i feel the love of a community that sees you off at the bus stop

i remember

            and it all makes me smile

water

Went for a walk today, in my world this means i took a path perpendicular to any road or urban area.  I am very lucky these days, all i have to do is walk up the mountain from my house and there is a trail head, luckier still that no one seems to use it much.  so i stand on the edge of civilization and read the map, study the warnings, going to have to remember to wear hunter orange in the fall... suddenly the invisible force field that seems to separate the worlds envelopes me and urges me forward.  Now I do not hear the cars or dogs in the neighbourhood for the forest has my focus.  Less than 100 steps in and I am now part of the heartbeat, accepted.  Spring snow squeaks under foot, the print almost letting water in the wake of my weight.  The aspen whips have been dancing in the meadow, skirts of space around each in the blanket of white.  the north side of trees and boulders still wear their winter jackets, moss still green on the east surfaces- does it tolerate the freezing i wonder.  water transforming everywhere.  drizzle falls from the sky where the trees stand together on this warm and sunny day.  as if the ionic bond reaches over distance, water seems to be magnetically drawn to itself.  Fused and flowing, the creek eats up surface ice exposing it's song.  Here in the shade, for trees always grow along the banks, winters autobiography is left in layers, orderly as tree rings.  not a breath of wind today but the forest moves.  branches spring skyward as snow payloads fall, chain reactions bouncing the trees around.  I sit and feel at one with this time and place for I too am water.  

Travelling Light

I don’t have many possessions these days.  Got it widdled right back to just the stuff I really like or can use.  Sentimentality is taken in small things, literally.  I collect rocks, shells, miniature glass… portable stuff.  Its not to say I don’t have things for a long time. For instance the lamp that lights my desk now is the one I bought for my desk at Staples oh, I don’t know, about 14 years ago. And I still have my first dolly, her face is crazy melty 40 year old plastic but I still love to put my hand inside, work the arms and ask myself animated questions.  I just have less of everything.  I was pained to buy two more cereal bowls recently but admitted that they would be used every day.  That’s the rule, if I can’t use it today I don’t really need it.  Improvisation relieves you of the responsibility of earning the money to buy the specialized thing.  You could use that money to travel, well that’s just my gypsy showing…  I just think that the stuff we accumulate tends to be specialized, just like we have become.  

Our job descriptions are a great example, I was a customer service representative level II once. Maybe if someone else didn’t define your job you could do the aspects you enjoyed and be really good at it.  Instead we cram ourselves into these definitions so we can move up the ladder, because that is what is next, more money, more stuff.   I totally digress.

If you can’t use it right now you don’t really need it.  I am constantly amazed at how I can give something away, that yes I will need next season, and how there one is when I go back looking for it.  How many times do we speak of luck.  What if you made your own luck, by continuing to try? How would you feel lucky if you never risked it?  My security comes from knowing myself, not from the things around me.  Knowing that I am tried and true, reliable, knowing that the answer is always in the question.    Digression once again…

Put half your stuff in storage.  Anyone who has staged their home for sale knows this.  Your place will look better, everyone will say so.  There will be room in the closets and in the cupboards.  Not room for more things, if you really want something you can go shopping at the store of all your favorite stuff, your own storage locker. If it is not your favorite stuff it is time to let it go.   If you might need it, the same chance exists that you may not.  What if you gave away a part of yourself on each of the things you own, how much you is left?

I think I have looked at this idea more than most.  You could only bring what would fit in your car when a hurricane came ashore in Florida.  You sort out what is most important.  I have moved often, culling the heard to fit in someone’s pick up.  I have lived in my van, out of a back pack, off of a motorcycle, examining what should take up crucial space and add weight. I used to get to say that all my stuff fit in my van but I think these 2 new cereal bowls have pushed me over the limit. 

Influence

During a visit to my Uncle Paul's house we were down in the basement listening to records when I commented that he had many of the same albums that my parents did when I was growing up.  He looked at me and matter-of-factly said "influence my dear, influence".   We put each of these records on the turntable and gave them a spin and listen.  I was instantly transported back to the days when my dad would pull the speakers out of the large console unit, turn them toward each other and sit me between them to experience Time and Money by Pink Floyd.   Then to the car where we would take road trips with James Taylor and Don Maclean urging us on with miles of sing-a-long.  Many of these artists are in my collection to this day.  I still "let time go lightly" with Harry Chapin and have slipped away on Lightfoot's carefree highway.   


Every relationship I foster brings occasion for influence.  The opportunity to learn about something from a different perspective is precious but can oft be ignored.  I believe there are no coincidences, you get exactly what you need and every thing/person/experience has something to offer. 


I am forever grateful for the influences that shape the soundtrack of my life.  

Ecuador Part 2- the rest of the country

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Ecuador, the first two weeks with Grace

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Happy Birthday Abby

Today is the 22nd day of the 2nd month.  I have always enjoyed numbers, not math so much but numbers yes.  With only 10 digits, patterns are certain to emerge when you look at the numbers in your life.   My sister would insist at this moment that I remind everyone that zero is a number.  Now that I have entered the world of computer science I can attest to the importance of the zero :)  I have had a streak of 3s and 7s for my addresses- 173, 7307, 1713...  I am attuned to looking for the patterns after working with the late and great Dr. Brian Kaye.  He was a founding contributor to chaos and fractal mathematics and I am sure I will say more about him another day.  

Abby's birthday is 2-22 and she is a twin.  I am sad to say her twin brother is no longer in this dimension and I am sure that today has been bittersweet ever since.  Abby is one of the most resilient people I know having lived many lives with many new beginnings.  She has been a constant source of inspiration and appreciation for my photography and being.  I love her laugh and her outgoing nature.  When you are around Abby you cannot help but smile!  She is the only person I know who might be more curious than me and she is never afraid to ask a question, of anyone.  We have had some great adventures together in FLA and TX.  I miss her so.  
Happy Birthday my beautiful friend, I hope you have an outstanding day filled with love, peace, joy and light. 

the kitchen sink

My mum can create something out of nothing, well not nothing, but that woman can look into the pantry and freezer and figure out a yummy and nourishing meal at any moment.  I am blessed to have been influenced by this creativity.  I didn't even realize it until someone pointed it out to me.  Adam joked the other day about recycling a terrible steak I had cooked.  You are not going to make a soup or lunch out of that? he asked as I stood over the trash can hesitant to scrape my plate into it.  

Both of my families come from hard work and an attitude of DIY.  Scotch, Dutch, misers, thrifty, prudent, frugal... call it what you will, I didn't realize the behaviours even had names as I grew up.  I would watch in horror as people threw out the rest of dinner or friends trashed paper that had only been written on one side.  I have been known to get quite upset over letting a bunch of asparagus go bad in the refrigerator.  

I encourage you to cruise your food stock every morning.  

Here are some things I keep in mind-

- look at your fresh produce EVERY day.  If something looks like it might be going bad then cook it.  Boil it or blanch it then put it back in the fridge.  Who knew that you could mush cooked radishes in with your boiled potatoes?  You can get another week of storage by cooking.

- keep wraps or tortillas around.  Left overs + some lettuce and salad dressing can make a yummy wrap.  Rice, beans + meat = burrito.  Veg + cheese + meat if you need = quesadillas.
Layer tortillas and left overs, cover with soup or sauce, bake and you have left over lasagna.

- keep spring roll wraps around.  Just about any vegetable can go into a spring roll and they are fun to make.

- keep pizza dough ingredients on hand. You can put many many things on or in pizza crust.  You don't need cheese, or official pizza sauce and it doesn't even need to be flat, you can roll stuff up in it.  

- my sister would remind me that you can make a casserole or goulash at any moment if you add noodles and a soup to well, whatever fits in the pot.

- use a sharpie to write the open date on jars and containers when you open them.  Things like stock, salsa, half used spaghetti sauce can linger in the fridge.  The date should remind you to use them up.

- if you cannot compost, keep your vegetable scraps, skins, ends, and stalks in a bag in your freezer.  Keep adding to the bag instead of the garbage.  You can make a tasty vegetable stock from those scraps by boiling them with water.  I add them to the chicken stock I make from the chicken bones I keep.  The freezer is an amazing tool.

Try to identify the anchor ingredient, this should be the thing that is going to spoil if you do not use it.  Could be a sauce, veg, meat, left overs, bread, and begin to build from there.  Do not forget that you can have multiple courses at any meal if you are worried about quantity.  
How you put ingredients together is up to your taste.  If you don't try you will never know if you could take that terribly dry roast beef and slow cook it with some curry for a great Indian meal ( I had so much beef left that I rinsed the curry sauce off and made an enchilada lasagna out of it!)  Creativity in the kitchen takes time to develop and you may have to choke some things down but you have done yourself a real service, You have not wasted FOOD.

I force this creative process every month as we "eat the house down".  I refuse to go to the store until the cupboards and fridge are just about empty.  I am incredibly fortunate that Adam is a good sport about my substitutions.  Last night we had spring rolls to finish off the rest of the fresh veggies, you wont find the recipe anywhere, they had a little bit of everything - everything but the kitchen sink.



  

Celebration of Same

I don't have kids but almost everyone I know does.  I get to do a lot of objective observation and my friends and family have humored me often and have honored me with their time to listen thoughtfully to my ideas.  This particular observation extends well beyond kid-dom but I think it is where it begins.  

You are so stubborn, just like your father.  Your eyes are so beautiful, just like your mothers.  You need to behave more like your friends. You put your milk on the same shelf I do. 

I hear these statements of sameness often.  Sometimes celebrated but often noted.  I rarely hear the same enthusiasm for a recognized difference.  

I like to refer to the writings of other authors when they have already said it well.

"With that fear of being punished and that fear of not getting the reward, we start pretending to be what we are not, just to please others, just to be good enough for someone else.  We try to please Mom and Dad, we try to please the teachers at school, we try to please the church, and so we start acting.  We pretend to be what we are not because we are afraid of being rejected.  The fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough.  Eventually we become someone that we are not.  We become a copy of Mamma's beliefs, Daddy's beliefs, society's beliefs, and religion's beliefs." ~The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (1997)

I recognize that we often believe things are easier when we are all the same, we are not made uncomfortable, we are not challenged.  If we surround ourselves with sameness that is all that will result, more of the same.  We elected a president who used the simple campaign slogan "Change", it is obvious that Americans are looking for change.  Perhaps we could all start at home and stop breeding the same.  

 

Firsty- Thirsty for Firsts

Yep, I am one of those persons that make up words.  I get it from my Grampie, my mums dad... I believed the turn signal in the car was actually called the doodleflapper because of him.  

I am thirsty for firsts and consequently I invite challenge into my life.

The couple Adam and I shared the gondola with at Keystone yesterday told me I was brave when we revealed that it was my inaugural run on a snowboard.  I have skied for 20 years now and after hearing so much about how comfy the gear was and how zen the ride is I decided that I should learn. 
Brave huh? They knew that it was going to hurt.  I had been repeatedly warned that I was going to fall, that it was going to be often and that I would want to give up. I looked at the couple with pity, they were not much older than I, had they already given up?  Had they already stopped falling? stopped hurting?  Had they already learned everything? Perhaps they are simply afraid.  Afraid of a little instability, a little unknown, a little bruising, afraid of a little fear...  

Life is long, learn much.
Cuze if you aint learnin you aint livin.

I'll be headed back out as soon as I can sit on my right ass cheek again, ready to fall, ready to hurt, ready to learn. Forever firsty.

Deflowering

I have avoided this.  I have avoided some aspects of our technology rich world.  I have stayed on my island, refusing to participate, developing this idea that tech is evil.  Then a book comes along, a well thought argument presented in a fashion that I simply cannot ignore. 

“The way to solve the conflict between human values and technological needs is not to run away from technology. That’s impossible. The way to resolve the conflict is to break down the barrier of dualistic thought that prevent a real understanding of what technology is – not an exploitation of nature, but a fusion of nature and the human spirit into a new kind of creation that transcends both. When this transcendence occurs in such events as the first airplane flight across the ocean or the first footsteps on the moon, a kind of public recognition of the transcendent nature of technology occurs. But this transcendence should also occur at the individual level, on a personal basis, in one's own life, in a less dramatic way.” 
― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

So here I am, transcending, embracing all that current technology has to offer.  I played monopoly with my nieces via Google Hangout on Christmas Day.  Some folks out there have a really harsh view on what technology "is doing" to communication.  After helping her with school work I told my oldest niece that learning to write script was totally useless, what she needed to do was learn how to type.  What she writes on a piece of paper is viewable by few, what she types could be viewed by millions. So here I am, transcending, putting away my pen and paper, taking my own advice.  

Perhaps you will find my island interesting.

Cherie