I have my old camera for sale on Craigslist.
A pleasant girl called me on Sunday to say that she wanted it and was very very excited blah blah blah so we made plans to meet on Monday night to make the exchange. Monday afternoon i sent her a text message to confirm that we were in fact going to meet that evening as planned. At 10 minutes before the agreed upon meeting time she called and told me that she had been locked out of her apartment and that she wasn't going to be able to meet me. She prefaced by saying "I know this is going to sound unbelievable but blah blah blah" so we agreed to meet when her schedule next allowed us to on Wednesday.
So on Wednesday morning I sent her a text asking her to confirm our meeting. Nothing... So I followed up in the afternoon with a "If don't want the camera or are unable to make it please just tell me now so that I can make dinner plans." Long after the agreed upon time I texted her again and said simply "you are lame" to which I got this reply-
"I'm sorry! I didn't see your texts until five thirty, and by then I didn't want to bother you for fear of upsetting you/sketchy craigslist interaction. Sorry for any upset I caused and I hope you have a lovely thanksgiving!" to which I replied "Like I said you are lame" the answer back to that was "ok, well sorry again! Hope you don't let my lameness ruin your day too much. Have a great holiday."
This has bothered me since I read it.
This girl was more concerned about upsetting me then telling me the truth. All of these machinations and stories and fibs to prevent me from getting upset.... How about the truth? I gave her the opportunity to tell the truth, even gave her an easy way out to tell that truth with just a single word, over text, not even voice to ear or in person.
Have we all forgotten the power of honesty? The truth has many bumper stickers that profess it's power, how is it that this person has not realized this? I feel justified in calling her lame because of the dictionary definition "unconvincingly feeble". Would it have not been more just to both of us if she had professed the truth?
This girl is old enough to go to university. But is she mature in any way? I ponder the meaning of the word mature often and rail on many of the current definitions that are spouted by those around me for they tend to tie maturity to ownership, parenthood, career, dress.... I instead believe that real maturity is about accountability and being honest is an integral part of that. Honesty sometimes means saying things that may upset other people. We can be kind with our honesty but in the end it is the content that matters most, not the delivery.
We have become so caught up in making sure everyone likes us that in some cases we have chosen to abandon the truth. This western society of "political correctness" has created an environment in which children learn to make people happy over everything else (this I believe is rooted in the tendencies some have to withdraw their love when upset creating a punishment of deeply unfair proportion). We can even struggle in our adult relationships with endless trying to create happiness for another person.
Give it up. Say no, say I don't agree, I don't want, I've changed my mind... worry about your own damned happiness and I'll worry about mine... otherwise you can take my happy away.
