life by the seat of my toilet

in my house the toilet seat is just where it is, if you need it up put it up, if you need it down then put it down.  There is no usual or expected position.  the needs of one of us does not supercede the needs of the other.  i had not really given this much thought until I stayed the night at my friend Joel's place.  He has a roommate Zac and sometimes Zac's son stays over.  The toilet seat at their house is always down.  these three have been trained to put the seat down for the ladies... now if you put the lid down because you have dogs or for feng shui reasons that's a little different but if you do it for a woman I have to ask WHY? 

perhaps i am just too unrefined to comprehend what is so egregious about touching the toilet seat or what is so difficult about looking before you sit, ladies?  hell, if you go to ecuador most bowls do not even have a seat, you perch your heiny on the edge of the porcelain and do your business.  but see, i would go anywhere, anytime.... many a fellow traveler has seen my white ass on the side of the road.   

i have been reading a fabulous book "from power to partnership" by Montuori and Conti.  like many of the tomes on my shelf it gets picked up and read in fits and starts.  The book mark inside is the campground map for Brainard Lake and marks a page that begins "... is passionate about the need to develop new archetypes or role models for women and men.  We are constantly bombarded with images that reinforce the dominator society..."  to that I say "no shit sherlock".  but then i have worked hard to practice partnership over power.  for when you aim to control someone else's behaviour you are merely judging that your way is better than theirs.  and what gives you that right? i believe there is only one real wrong in this world and that is judgement.  

so ladies, please stop congratulating yourselves on getting your man and kids to behave as you wish.  in fact, in the mornings i do remark that the toilet seat is a little bit warmer for not having sat on the cold bowl all night.